My cat is amazing, she’s utterly adorable and I’ve decided to talk about five reasons why my cat is amazing for today’s article. I could have written more than five reasons but we’ll stick to just five for today. But before we start, I’d like to make it very clear that I am not being threatened in any way and my cat is not forcing me to write this.

With that out of the way, let’s get right down to it. We’ll start with…

5. She is so snuggly

My cat is soft and furry and oh so snugglable. I could cuddle her all day, although I won’t because she wouldn’t actually like that. Cats love attention and cuddles and strokes but only on their own terms, so it’s important to respect their boundaries because they have sharp claws and aren’t afraid to use them.

But of all the cats, my cat is definitely the most snuggly. She’s adorable.

My cat did not make me write this.

4. Her fur is so soft

I like nothing more than settling down after a hard day at the word mill, with a nice cup of tea at my side and my wonderful cat on my lap. She enjoys a good snuggle and loves to be stroked. Her hair is so soft and she purrs the cutest purrs you will ever hear. I love my cat, she is amazing.

3. She is so cute

If you looked “cute” up in a dictionary (I don’t know why you would do this but if you did), there would be a description of my cat there waiting for you. Normally that joke ends with “there’s a picture of you there” but that’s ridiculous because dictionaries don’t have pictures in them unless they are aimed at four-year-olds and I’m a grown woman. A grown woman with a cute cat.

How can anyone say no to that face?

Everything my cat does is cute and amazing. She looks cute, she looks cute while she’s sleeping (and she does sleep quite a lot because when you have no worries in life, apparently that’s what you do) and when she snores (which she does) she’s so very cute about it.

I’m serious, my cat isn’t making me write this.

2. Her mews are adorable

My cat has the most adorable voice, which she knows will get her anything she wants. She follows me into the kitchen whenever I make a cup of tea and mews at me in the cutest, most adorable way, until I give her treats. I can’t help it. It’s like a Pavlovian reflex or something. She’s just so wonderful.

She’s totally not making me write this, guys. I mean it. My cat didn’t make me write this.

1. Help!

Okay, please help. My cat has a knife and she’s making me wri–